January 2011
28 posts
Mandatory overtime can eat a hot bowl of dicks.
I’m now convinced my whole life has been a lie. I’m not a Scorpio, I’m adopted, I’m very thin, and have no sense of humor…
I had half a glass of Dogfish Head Fort and I’m feeling buzzed. Damn you, 18%.
I’ve cracked a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Boston Cream Pie ice cream. Next stop, Bliss! (Followed by Shameville.)
Are there people with schizophrenia where both personas are great people? The dominant is a sweetheart & the other is really fun & outgoing?
I have a zit on my bottom lip. In my best John Kimble voice, “It’s not a cold sore!”
My coworker asked if I was familiar with Second City & the old TV show, so I said, “Yeah, SCTV.” He said, “No.” I’m confused.
I found Dogfish Head Fort locally for the first time. Also had an idea for a podcast but I don’t have the necessary equiptment.
I’ve now analyzed Mulholland Drive twice for my coworkers. Thanks for making me look like an irrelevant snob, David Lynch.
I guess I'm excited?
I don’t mean to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I just got free tickets to see Brian Posehn. I was going to buy them online last night, but $20 tickets turned into $66, so I decided to go to the venue today after work. The venue happened to be inside a casino (as per usual, it’s Vegas), and after showing him my “Boarding Pass” (basically a rewards club card like...
I got my schedule approved to work early on Friday so I can in see @thebrianposehn! I’m pretty excited.
I had a facepalm moment. I feel a little sad and disappointed in humanity.
One of my coworkers tried to compliment me tonight by implying a lot of men must pursue me. I embarrassed him by laughing. Loudly.
The Nerd's Guide to Weightloss
So today was the last nail in the coffin. Over the past few weeks I’ve developed a depressing routine of wake up, go to work, swing through a “drive-thru,” watch tv, go to bed, repeat. Today at the window of (an unnamed chain), the clerk said, “See you tomorrow night.” Even though I rotate the greasy chains I visit each night, the fact that he recognized me as a...
So my beef and I are going to write a sketch in which the Chilean minors get trapped inside a Chilli’s. Then we’ll send it back in time.
Why don’t we just skip ahead and replace the n-words in Huck Finn with the word zombie.